Have you ever had a conversation with someone that left you feeling a bit jealous? I rarely feel jealous of other’s belongings, but I sometimes long to have the relationships that others seem to have. I have found that those relationships are not always as cheery as they first seem, but I think I found a marriage that I truly admire.
I work with a woman who has been married for 16 years. Every time she speaks of her husband, she speaks in a loving way. She tells us how much she adores him. She has told us that she would marry him all over again. She even tells us all of the great things he does for her. At some point, somewhere between the comments about him cooking dinner and vacuuming, I began to think about how their situation sounds a lot better than mine. ***Note: My marriage is great. My husband is great! However, he doesn’t know how to run the vacuum, and we don’t want him to cook!***
The other day, she made a comment that really got me thinking. She was telling me about her husband’s career and asking about my husband’s career. I told her that her marriage sounded just perfect. She replied that she isn’t perfect, he isn’t perfect, and their marriage isn’t perfect, but God is. Since God is at the center of her marriage, she has no reason to complain. Therefore, she chooses to share only positive things with others about her marriage and her husband.
I think my jaw dropped, and I just stood there speechless. However, I heard her message loud and clear. Her marriage may not be any better than mine, but she chooses carefully what she tells others. She doesn’t make up lies to make her marriage look great, but she filters out the bad. Her husband may snore, have a horrible temper, or never pick up his dirty socks, but she only tells us about his good qualities.
My friend went on to say that when she focuses on his good qualities, the bad ones just don’t seem as important. She told me that it is much easier to love someone when you don’t dwell on their shortcomings. That is only fair, right? We don’t want our spouses to dwell on our shortcomings, so why should we dwell upon theirs?
I am grateful that my friend has been placed in my life. I love her reminder to me about treasuring my husband and our marriage.